Saturday, May 29, 2010
This has been a very emotional week for me full of ups and downs. I have been crying, thinking about where I am in my life right now, reflecting on where I have been, and wondering what it all really means. And for the first time in a long time I was feeling fearful of what lay ahead of me.
And you know, nothing bad or traumatic has happened. My business is growing. I have the love and support of a wonderful husband, beautiful children, great friends, yet – I feel like crying a dozen times a day. I immediately worried that maybe at 38 years old I was starting to lose it. But I quickly realized that I was actually gaining so much.
With each new and exciting opportunity comes a matching fear that I can’t do it or that I am not worthy of the growth and success. I have dedicated my life to helping others achieve success in their personal and professional lives and now I am wondering if I am qualified to do so! Who would want to work with me? Or listen to a word I have to say? They are just being nice when they tell me how inspired they feel after spending time with me. Really?
You understand don’t you? How many times have you tried to convince yourself that you are not capable or worthy of success? love? growth? prosperity? or even a compliment? That my friend, is fear talking to you.
I want to share a powerful quote with you, from a wonderful book called A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson. Yesterday I came across a note that I had scribbled in a notebook full of notes from a sales conference I attended some months ago that said ”google a return to love” – funny that I would find that note this week and finally google it and this is what I found:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.”
Once again I am shown how things will happen in my life when they are supposed to. Truthfully, fear is toxic. I say it all the time. However, one of the things I learned this week is that fear – like most things that are bad for you – is OK in moderation. I have been trying so hard to become fearless in everything that I do especially in business that I convinced myself that fear equaled weakness. Now I understand that fear is a natural feeling to experience especially when you are working so hard toward your goals. It can be a healthy feeling too as long as you feel it for a moment and move on.
Sometimes our fears can tell us what to do. When you pay attention to your fears you become more aware of wanting to overcome them. Therefore, you develop new strategies and incorporate them into your action plan sometimes without knowing it. Your fears can become a catalyst for change.
Don’t allow fear to eat away at your confidence. Fear comes when you least expect it and often from behind, just like a bully. Fear is very persuasive. But you are tougher than that. Think back on a time in your life that you accomplished something great. Now go back a little further. Remember the fear you felt before you accomplished it? See you have faced fear before and won and you will do it again