Conquer your fears, otherwise your fears will conquer you.

I was inspired to write this blog because of my lunch special the other day.  It was chicken and broccoli with brown rice.  My usual.  However, this time I decided to eat the fortune cookie, something I don't usually do.  And in this fortune cookie I found the following message.

What a great message and so profound (like most fortunes are in most cookies, right?)  I thought it was a very appropriate message for a coach and the universe must have chosen it especially for me.

And when I came into the office this morning, there was that little slip of paper right by my phone telling me again to conquer my fears.  (I think it was also telling me to call that one person I have been wanting to get an appointment with but was too afraid to call! Until now)

As a business coach, I talk about fear all the time and how it limits us.  It is so intriguing to me that most of us allow this emotion to take such control over our lives and we let it determine our outcomes.  We create reasons and conditions for why we can't do something rather than creating winning outcomes in our mind and allowing that to inspire us.

Are you letting fear rule some part of your life?  

What are these fears that hold you back?  

Why do we allow those fears to stop us from being who we were created to be?

One thing I know for sure, we become what we believe.  Our beliefs become the rules we live by and our thoughts and actions are shaped by those beliefs.  Therefore, the stories we tell ourselves are literally shaping our life and our world around us.  

I also know, those stories will make or break you.  They will push you forward or hold you back. These stories we tell ourselves can create paralyzing fear, and we all know what fear really is don't we?  

False 

Evidence

Appearing 

Real

So,if we know on some conscious level that most of our fears are unfounded why do we entertain them as thoughts and emotions?  I mean, if we know that most of the things we fear are not real, why do we still hold ourselves back from doing the very things that will push us forward?  

Another thing I know for sure, is that we can overcome our fears and actually embrace and face them anytime we decide to do it.  And it all starts with a decision.  A decision to no longer live feeling oppressed by our own thoughts. 

It is time to live the life of your dreams rather than the life of your fears.  It begins by creating a different story, by telling yourself a different story.  Replace the thoughts that dis-empower you with unlimited thinking.  And in order to do that you will have to step outside of those limiting beliefs.  That new story will paint a different picture for you.  That new story will allow you to tell yourself something very different than what has been holding you back.  

And I am not talking about analyzing the fear or where it comes from.  This might take too long and often times the more time you spend analyzing the fear and why you have it -  the more power you are giving to the fears themselves.  Because what we focus on expands.  

Rather, spend your time working on overcoming the fear.  And this might not be something you can do alone.  You might need to talk about it with your coach, mentor or accountability partner because overcoming your fear(s) will require some new strategy.  And in order to have that breakthrough you will need a plan and a better story so you can accept the better plan and the ability to develop a more positive belief system.

Power your thinking with a bigger why

One thing all high achievers have in common is they are working for a "big why".  The big why is about having purpose, a mission or a need, that in turn gives you focus.  The big why is the fuel that powers your actions.  It’s your motivation!

Keep in mind a big why brings BIG focus and BIG energy the same way a little why brings little focus and little energy. 

Now imagine if you could live every day with such purpose.  How far could you really go?  Think about what motivates you.  Here's a quick exercise:  Grab a pad of sticky notes and ask yourself that question, What motivates me?   Then write down one motivating factor on a sticky note.  Only 1 thought per sticky note.  Think about all the aspects of your life and all of the reasons why you want to accomplish your goals.  Think about what your goals are and why they are your goals, why are they important to you?

Now take those notes and arrange them in front of you.  Move them around according to their level of importance to you.  What comes first, that would be your BIGGEST WHY.  What matters most?  Then list the others in their order of importance.  What is dependent on the other?  Really get in touch with what motivates you.  Is it connecting with people?  Is it the challenge of closing a deal?  Is it to empower someone to purchase their dream home?  To discover solutions?  To develop successful habits?  to make a difference in someone life? 

Now take the sticky note that says Money or Financial Stability or Independence and put it at the bottom of the list.  

At the bottom of the list?  

Yes, imagine just for a minute that money was at the end of the list.  Still important but at the end of the list.  That new order to things would take the emphasis off of making money and would put the emphasis to something else.  How would that change things?  How would that make you feel?

See, business goals should be part of a larger personal strategy designed to push you and help you to grow.   What would your business look like if you worked less for money and more for the pursuit of personal growth and the ability to be and do your absolute best?   The answer might actually surprise you.  Overtime, you might find yourself less stressed and probably wealthier! 

Now that’s not to say that money is not important.  But if you focus on just the amount of money you will earn each time you work with a client, you may just be holding yourself back.  You can achieve your financial goals faster than you think by putting every other WHY first on the list.

Working every day to be your best, means that you will automatically be making the most money you can make.